Jumper Tragedy

Cast on 378 stitches..... this should have been my first warning.  I mean, my bum may be big, but it's not that big.  But, I told myself, it's light yarn, and the jumper (sweater) is knit all in once piece, and it's loose and flarey at the bottom.

So I kept knitting.  I was suspicious though.... Those 378 stitches per row were eating though the yarn so fast I was only getting around 5 rows to the ball.  And my jumper quickly started getting heavy, too heavy.  But because it was knit all in one piece, scrunched up on the needles, it was hard to get an accurate idea of how big it was.  So I gave it the benefit of the doubt and kept on knitting...for over a year.

By the time I got to the shoulders (this jumper was knit from the bottom up) I was ready to cast off and try it on.  I knew it wasn't going to end well.  In desperation I tried some fierce blocking, but I kew it wasn't going to work.  I put the still sleeveless jumper on.... and discovered I could wrap it around myself twice.  I had a think, what to do, what to do?

The jumper was made out of bamboo fibre, so there was no chance of felting it down to size, and because it was knit all in one piece I couldn't just reknit one or two particularly ill-fitting sections, it was all or nothing. 

So I had two choices.  I could either befriend a small elephant with good dress sense, and give them the jumper, or I could frog it all and start again.  My partner watched the trying-on process with apprehension, sure that seeing a year's worth of knitting going down the drain would upset me, but I was unfazed.  No really.

You see, not only had I long suspected there were problems with my jumper (and yes, I should have taken it off the stitches to have a look much earlier), but I understand that knitting is a process. A process that doesn't always produce exactly what you expect.  The way I saw it I could either keep my ill-fitting jumper, or I could unravel it and turn it into a bag full of yarn.  Looked at this way there was really no choice.  I love yarn, and I love yarn much more than bad jumpers.  The yarn I had bought for the project is beautiful, and now I'll be lucky enough to knit it twice. I don't feel ready to turn it back into a jumper just yet, so my question to you, faithful readers, is this: What shall I knit with 14 balls of beautiful sky blue 8ply bamboo yarn?

The Fine Art of Horizontal Knitting

I haven't had a chance to post in a while.  It's not because I'm lazy, I've been recovering from surgery and I still have another operation to go.  The upside is that I've gotten a lot of knitting done.  I knitted in pre-op, I knitted in recovery  and I've pretty much been knitting constantly since.

Since I did virtually all of this knitting in my preferred position, horizontal, I thought this might be a good time to offer readers some handy hints about reclining knitting.  Whether you have a disability, an injury, or just need a good lie down, these tips may help you on your way.

Everyone's physical limitations are different, even able-bods, so you may have to modify some of my advice for your own personal needs.  All my limbs function at pretty much the same standard, I don't have a particular dodgy arm as such.  Instead I have fairly generalised pain, muscle weakness and spasms through-out my body.  Generally the closer to horizontal I am, and the less weight I have to carry, the happier I am.  So with this in mind, here are a few hints about getting started as a reclining knitter.

To begin with, the playing surface needs to be right.  Knitting while lying completely flat is more tiring than it looks.  Your hands are above you and taking all the weight of your project and at the same time your circulation has to work uphill to get the blood to your fingers.  Instead, boost yourself up on pillows so that you are halfway between sitting and lying down, but with the weight of your head and shoulders taken by the cushions.  In this position you may also be more comfortable with an extra pillow under your knees to stop your legs from being splayed out straight.

The correct reclining knitting position should allow you to knit with your forearms resting on the sides of your belly, with the needles just below eye height.  In this position you can also distribute the weight of your project over your torso, instead of just on just your hands, great for sore wrists.

When knitting in a seated position it's normal to have the completed section of your knitting hanging down below the needles, putting the entire weight of the project on your wrists and hands.  When I started lying down to knit my first instinct was to have my project below the needles, spreading down over my legs.  I quickly found that this was inconvenient because as I knitted there was no gravity to drag my garment with it, leaving it all bunched up on my tummy.  Instead I prefer to do an Isadora Duncan and throw my project over my shoulder, so that most of the project sits on my shoulders and behind me.  This weight distribution also allows me to tackle larger projects than I normally do.  Because my arms and hands aren't very strong (despite the drumming) I use to limit myself to small, light projects, but as you can see in the photo, if I'm reclining I can knit a whole jumper (sweater) in one piece without damaging myself.

Needle choice can also effect your ability to knit lying down.  I've found if the needles are too long, they get tangled in my armpits and the ball of yarn which usually sits at my side.  Too short and they get stuck in my sleeves as I knit.  While it is possible to use straight needles, I usually prefer using circulars as they don't get in the way and they distribute the weight of the knitting evenly between your hands.

With these handy tips in mind, I hope you'll get plenty of knitting done next time you're laid up in bed.

The Reverse Boyfriend Knitting Curse

There is a lot of folklore that revolves around knitting.  Regular knitters will be familiar with the boyfriend jumper curse (or the boyfriend sweater curse for American readers).  For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it goes something like this: never knit your lover a jumper, or you'll be doomed to break up shortly after the gift is handed over.

photo credit: Lululemon Athletica

There are a number of reasons for this mysterious phenomenon. Firstly it takes a long time to knit a jumper.  I've been knitting one for almost a year and I haven't even started the sleeves.  This gives many relationships time to go from starry eyed to bitter and twisted. Another theory is that the recipient of the gift takes one look at the wonky, homemade garment, pictures a lifetime of being forced to wear fashion tragedies and runs like the wind.  Along the same line is the theory that the hard working knitter slaves away on the jumper, then seeing that their partner refuse to wear her brilliant work, dumps the ungrateful bum.

Recently I've discovered a related but opposite knitters' curse, I call it the Boyfriend Gift-Yarn curse, or if you will, the Reverse Boyfriend Knitting Curse.  Let me explain.  I was recently cataloguing my yarn stash (yes, I'm that nerdy) and I noticed how many unused balls of yarn I had that had been gifts from ex-lovers.  In a way it was nice, a reminder of good times (and a few bad ones).

photo credit: EraPhernalia Vintage

Now, it's not that I have been deliberately avoiding using this yarn, and it's good quality stuff, my lovers have excellent taste (they chose me after all), so why is this yarn outlasting my relationships? (Insert joke about my number of exes here.)  Of course there are a number of reasons, gift yarn is usually given in one or two ball lots, meaning your choice of project is limited, and it's not usually given with a specific purpose in mind.  I'm also a notoriously slow knitter, and yes, I've gone through a few lovers in the last few years.

So now that I've discovered this new curse, the question is, what should I do about it?  I mean, I don't want to doom my relationships, but on the other hand, I like receiving gifts of yarn.  So I've decided I'm not superstitious.... and I don't believe in knitting curses.  In the meantime, I want to ensure I keep getting given yarn by making sure news of the curse doesn't spread. So be sure not to read this post.  Thanks.